This paper I’m writing is turning out to be SO pro-ED.
This might be bad…
I don’t know what else to say. PrettyThin is a community that supports people in whatever stage of dieting, relapse, or recovery they happen to be in. I can’t think of words to say that make it not ok. (See? words are hard. I’m pretty sure that didn’t make sense.)
I think it’s a good thing. I think it is great that a community like this exists to help people with EDs not feel so alone. I want to be a part of it.
One of my homework assignments for my COMM class is to analyze the types of communication on either a hate group website (like Aryan Nation or White Honor Blog) or on an ED site. I chose to write on PrettyThin. It’s making me want to start this up again. For a while there I had just accepted that I’m disgusting and no amount of starving myself is ever going to change that. I’m not only unhappy with my body, I’m unhappy with who I am. Changing my body won’t make me any happier, will it? I don’t know. I hope it will. It would give me one less thing to hate about myself, I guess… Whatever good work I did before has gone to shit in the past month. I’ll have to start completely over.
Or I could just kill myself. I’d be ok with that too.
Today is four years since Drew killed himself. This week is five years since I was in rehab for trying to kill myself. Every year at this time I look back and see how far I’ve come. Unfortunately, this year it looks like I’ve taken a few steps back. I’m not in a good place and hopefully I can get myself out of this mess. The only way I can keep myself focused is to pick one thing to look forward to or one thing to work toward. Last semester I was looking forward to having Daniel back here. This semester I have Rabbit Hole to work on. After that I dont’ know… Daniel says he’s coming back for the summer and for next year, but I don’t know if I can believe that. He still doesn’t have a job and therefore doesn’t have money for a place here. I can’t make him my thing to look forward to. I guess I have my thesis show to look forward to, but that’s a really long time from now. I don’t know if I can make it that far. I need something closer to work toward, but I can’t think of anything. I can’t think of a good reason why I should stick around after Rabbit Hole is over.
See? This is what is wrong with me right now. Last two years ago I was all positive and optimistic about life and last year and this year things have just gotten worse. Why should I pretend they’re going to get any better?
So Tumblr will post PSAs when we search certain tags. So what? We scroll past that shit on a daily basis anyway. Are they going to shut down everyone’s progress/recovery blogs too? Because a lot of those show hella skinny girls and cutting too. # everything as “art” and you’re good to go.
Total intake: 680
Burned:
Total burned: 472
Net: 208
wildbeardedbrownmanontheinternet:
#thinspo.
(Source: bricua)
if you ate 2 cookies, or a piece of pizza, or some french fries…. you didn’t binge, you just ate a little junk food.
if you went over your daily calorie intake allotment because you were genuinely hungry… you didn’t binge, you fed your body.
if you took seconds because you enjoyed something and wound up getting a little overfull…you didn’t binge, you just overate.
A binge is NOT the same thing as a poor nutritional choice, mindless snacking, or an indulgence.
My binge today: 3 slices of pizza, a bag of chips, soda, 3 cookies, 2 kit-kat, a bag of skittles, and 5 V-day chocolates. And my friend wants to get food with me later tonight.
Is that good enough for you?
(Source: marysquattins, via strivingtobehealthy)
Yes it is, and for the record it’s 00-2.
^^^
(Source: peanutbutterfluff, via phish-tails-deactivated20120505)
gah
(Source: papartyslamma, via new-ana)
